Late

wish that my postings weren’t so sporadic, however, I’ve become so involved with work, going to the gym and my photography, that I hardly have time to think, more less document the chaos

I have a few updates.

I have been hired on fulltime at the hospital, it just happened last week. I’m excited because it’s what I needed. I needed to have a REAL/FULLTIME job, for my own ego, sanity and self pride. I hated that I was part time. Also, this bumps my benefits, I earn more vacation time faster, I get my birthday off. That kind of thing. (the good stuff)

The one bad thing is that my hours got changed. From 7-330 to 830 to 5. I hope I can adjust quickly, because I am very use to having my afternoons to relax. I guess we’ll see. But honestly, Im so lucky, I would work all night if they asked me to.

See, being unemployed and unable to find a job was one of the hardest things that I have ever been through. It messes with your mind, your heart, your esteem. It’s a terrible feeling. I am so thankful to finally have a full time job. So many people aren’t as fortunate as me and I am so grateful.

My sister is pregnant, she is due at the end of August. They “think” its a little boy. If so they have decided to name him Locke. Not the most common name but I think it is cute and will fit his personality if he is anything like his mama. I’m so excited for her. And pray everyday that things go perfectly for her.

My baby sister is working 3 jobs right now, to try and save money to move out of my parents house and get an apartment. Bless her heart, she is doing this all while going to culinary school full time and really excelling there. Super proud of that little pop tart. She is turning into an amazing woman.

My older sister is taking her National Boards on Thursday. Sending all the luck and love and good energy her way that I can.

And my Husband is just “winning” at his job. He is an amazing attorney. His office loves him and they have quickly discovered his brilliance, love and passion for the law and his job. It is so nice to see him succeeding in such a way that I don’t even know if he knew was possible. He is going to do amazing things with his career, and I feel that he is going to make a difference in this world someday.

All in all, things are good right now. I miss my Mamaw still with my whole heart, but I do know that she is better off. I hope to post about a dream that I had about her on here soon but I just cant get into that tonight.

Update:

So,
I think I had previously mentioned that I got a job at the hospital. I am working there three days a week. Its a decent job…. the benefits are great (something I will never take for granted again), and I enjoy having a stable job again. I am wishing however to get more into my photography, though I cant seem to get into the market here in Owensboro…..

This is something I have never seen before…

In the early spring, the fields are purple. I mean, everywhere….. purple…..

My grandma, who I have previously posted about passed away last week… I was in the room with her and saw her take her last breath. It was heartbreaking. We all knew it was time, she was 97, her kidneys had shut down, and she was uncomfortable……
She was one of my favorite people on this earth, and she taught me so much. And living without her in my world is harder than I ever thought it would be. I still cry daily because I miss her so much.

This is Mamaw and my dad 2 years ago. He lived with her for the past 8 months and was holding her hand when she passed.
Gosh I miss her so bad.

On another weirder note…
Since the end of march, I have lost 40% of my hair!!! CRAZY!!! It just started falling out, EVERYWHERE. it is much much better now, but I went to two doctors who said it was stress, then finally saw a dermatologist who determined that the Metal stamping factory I was working at could have something to do with it.. So once I started at the hospital, I quit the factory… and Ive seen MUCH less hair in the shower…and much less in the brush!!! I felt crazy because everyone was telling me it was stress!!! But the hair falling out was stressing me out more!!!

CRAZY!!!!!!!

I just finished Tina Fey’s Bossypants…. OMG a must read. I have never read a book that made me laugh out loud… She is my new idol!

So much has been happening, some good, some bad, some bad then good…
Life is good and Im blessed.

Friends

I’ve never been the type of person that has had a HUGE group of friends. I was always that girl, who had the one or two BEST friends that were my world at the time.

Since moving to Owensboro, I haven’t had the opportunity (yet) to build any new close relationships with anyone since most of the time I have spent here I have been jobless or in a temporary position, and I’m really missing that connection.

I have a few really good, special friends.

My oldest friend, Celia, was a pre-school buddy, we were separated through elementary and Middle school but became friends again in High school, and sisters in college. She was my musical muse, and was the type of friend that you could call at two in the morning say you needed to go for a drive and she’d be ready to go with you in no time at all. The type of friend that was so close that I would wake up some mornings and she would be in my apt, asleep on my couch, because my heating cost were included in my rent and she didn’t want to stay in her cold place! The type of friend that has an extra key to your apt and to your car just in case you get locked out….

This is an old photograph circa 2005 or so celebrating her birthday at Portofino in Lexington

Celia in Vogue Italia.

She moved to New York City in 2006 to pursue a her lifelong dream of modeling, where she has been quite successful, appearing on Americas Next Top Model, making it to 3rd or 4th place, Modeling for Vouge and other magazines, editing for Elle Girl, and all kinds of other amazing things that I could never dream of accomplishing. Though I am so proud of her for reaching for her dreams, I can’t help but secretly miss her and wish her home sometimes.

I made a new best friend in college, her name is Rebekah. We were in Dental Lab School and then went on to get our Bachelors together at Eastern. We studied together, ate out together, Listen to music together. She is the friend that I can talk to about ANYTHING. She is rational, kind, and the most forgiving and non-judgmental person that I know. I’m so thankful for her. Miss her terribly.

She is In the Cincinnati area currently working in our field and doing big things, working on her masters. I haven’t seen her since July!

This is my friend Rebekah

We still talk 2-3 times a week, we share music, and I still trust her with my deepest secrets, but I miss this friendship and knowing that she is near……..

The last friend I am going to Mention is my friend Kelly, we became friends at my last job over a mutual HATRED of the gossip and high-schoolish behavior that plagued our office. She was a great friend to me and helped me get through some hard days there. We had ritual Yagoot visits, shopping trips and happy hours, and I miss having her near as well.

I guess what I am trying to say here, is I miss my friends, and I cannot wait to see them soon, and make new friends here in Owensboro once my job starts next week. Its the most exciting thing to me about this job is making a friend, someone here to hang with and talk with!

Job

So,

It’s very important to mention that
I GOT THE JOB! Yay.

The job is part time, 3 days a week. 24 hours. But it is still a job in a hospital in my field of education. The ladies that I will be working with seemed really great in the interview so I think I will fit in well there and hopefully become full time.

The job title is Release of Information Specialist. I will be offered full benefits and a reduced price membership to the Health Park here in Owensboro which is the Cadillac gym here. So Im excited. I am also excited that the factory is going to keep me on two days a week so I can keep the income that I have been bringing in! It sucks to still work in the factory, because Its hard terrible work, and I breathe in fumes and oils and metals all day, but they are great to me there and I love the income!

I can honestly say, this time last year, I had no idea how good I had it. I was complaining because my job wasn’t paying me enough and I was doing 3 peoples jobs, but I would give anything to be back there making the money I was making then. I would never complain again!

But such is life, this is the hand I was dealt and I’m dealing and excited that things are starting to look up for me.

This is a photo of an old BelAire for sale here in Owensboro! I love this car and recently was purchased from my etsy site by a lady in Australia!

Wake Up, It’s a bad Dream

I hate bad dreams. I hate waking up and everything just feeling… well, wrong. It’s four thirty in the morning and I’m up watching the Nanny, trying to get my mind off my nightmare so I can go back to bed again and try to sleep this off.

I thought I’d take a moment and Mention that I got my first interview since I left my last job. Five and a Half months later I have an Interview!!! And its at the Hospital here. The job is perfect besides the fact that it is only 24 hours a week. But it still gets my foot in the door and offers me benefits. Which is much needed.

Im so tired I think Im going to shut the TV off, try to watch Fran Drescher(sp) walk around in her little tart outfits and try to take my mind off my dream and go back and snuggle into my warm husband. Hopefully, dream free.

Sleepin alone… in a house I don’t own.

Well,
Hubby is out of town for a 5 days….. wah… tear….. sigh….. moan… whimper. Im such a wuss. I just hate the feeling that he isn’t gonna come in the door tonight or be next to me in the morning when I wake up… But, its how it is for the week anyways. There are many out there who haven’t seen their husbands in a year.. months…. weeks because of their service to our country.

I don’t know how you do it ladies… You are amazing.

So what should I do with myself???? Since Ive been home about 10 minutes and I am already in my pajama pants….Im probably going to watch crappy TV shows that I am too embarrassed to watch in front of my husband.. Make spaghetti for dinner…. Sit in a hot bath with my Pandora on Fleet Foxes…… then watch girly movies on Netflix that would make Greg Gag and cringe.

Ill be out by 9. Maybe 8:30 if the bath is really relaxing…

WOW. I bet you are worn out just reading this? One thing is for sure. Im going to relax, and enjoy watching cheesy movies and the funniest home videos….

We’ll see how it goes..

Snow Photos

Because we dont get enough snow down here. I thought Id post some recent and older shots of snow that Ive gotten!!!

Tuesday Blues

I really thought that the beginning of this would be the time when I would hear back some positive news. But its been nothing but rejections, Postponements and what I feel like, is false hope.

I spent the morning hours applying for jobs online here in Owensboro, Henderson and Evansville. Then I went out on foot at lunch time to the stores and shops downtown… No luck (The one place hiring has asked me to come back 2 days in a row because they haven’t had the paper applications for people to fill out.) And have been following up with jobs and reading up on study materials from school to help me if I ever do Get an interview that coincides with my degree.

Its really frustrating. And its really getting me down.
On a lighter note. We did get a pretty size-able (For the ‘Boro) Snow fall last night, it has lifted my spirits today.
Im going to try to have a good night, I’m making it Taco night here at our house tonight and there is A UK B-Ball game tonight so… im going to try to just relax, and pray it all works out.

So…

So,

Things are going… I’m still looking for a job. Its a tough job market here in Owensboro. Tougher than I ever expected it to be. I’m either under qualified (I.E-Coding supervisor, HR administrator, hell, I was even under-qualified for a daycare position at the hospital Health Plex.)… Or overqualified…(I.E- Wal-mart, McDonalds, OCTCs assistants.)

I just don’t understand, in these times, how you can be “over” qualified for a job… I mean… why wouldn’t McDonald’s want a college graduate???….who is willing to work any hours and take minimum wage…It seems like you would rather have me, than someone with no education..that sounds terrible…..It seems like I would be first on the list with the education…. I just don’t understand.

I feel like everyday, the rejection emails roll in..

“Dear Courtnie:

Thank you for your interest in employment with Owensboro Community & Technical College. After careful consideration of your application, we regret to inform you that our search for the Office Support Assistant position has been narrowed to other candidates.”

Seriously…. Office support assistant…. I couldn’t even get an interview for that job?!?!?!?

Obviously they didn’t consider my application carefully enough or they would have seen that I sent the past two years being an office support assistant at a global company, and that I spent 5 years working for the BCTCS system…..I thought I was a shoe in. I thought it would be mine for sure.
I don’t understand.

I accepted a temporary job through a temp agency in November at a factory here in Owensboro called Unifirst. It paid minimum wage….. During that time, I interviewed with Kelly services…..for a mortgage loan processor position at US bank.. but she said it could be days maybe months, then I came home and had bronchitis/pneumonia from then through Christmas.

Tic Toc….. Tic Toc…. still haven’t heard a thing…

During my illness, My husband turned over my resume to his boss, who in turn, turned the resume over to the Director of Radiology at the hospital here, who in turn, turned the resume over to the Director of Health Information Management (which is my degree)

I called the lady and spoke with her, She was so excited to have found me and told me that a position would be opening up in her department, though only part time, and she would love for me to have it….I have been promised an interview….She just didn’t know when…..

so again… a waiting game. For “THE” job…

Then the job at Unifirst ended…. So now I have nothing… no income coming in at all… I really thought that I would have started the job at US bank before the job ended at Unifirst, or at least interviewed for the hospital one… but nothing.

There are six temp agencies here… none of which have any positions to offer anyone… I’m first on their list to be called if something opens up.. UGH.
So now I am spending my days applying at McDonald’s, Wal-Mart, Hobby Lobby, Chic-fil-A, Shoe Carnival, Dollar General.. and others in addition to the professional jobs that I am applying for.

I just want to know why, I cant even get an interview anywhere for any job….
I would take anything……………………………..

For anyone unemployed this process is terrible, you call about positions, you speak to HR, they steer you to the internet, to the employment page on their website….its so impersonal, they don’t want to see your face, they just let a computer kick you out based on some pre identified criteria.. they don’t want to know how hard you will work, or how you are never late, or how driven you are or how you would be their top employee!!! No. they want you to go online and spend three hours filling out your past job history, and your references, and you never hear from them again.

I’ve gotta be honest, its hard on the self esteem to get rejection after rejection, you start to doubt yourself, your time, your education and whether the decisions you have made in the past were the right ones…

If you are me… you start to feel, well, Worthless.

“Should I have even gone to college, or should I have just gone to Toyota… hell, I could be making over 100k right now if I had..” It starts to get personal after a while when you hear that a company isnt “Interested in interviewing you” but no explanation, no feedback as to why you are so un-interviewable.

Something has to give… I really don’t know what else to do.. everywhere I go… People have jobs….people are working…. why am I not one of them??? What am I doing wrong… whats wrong with me?

Pray I find something. Please.

Tradition

Everyone has family traditions when it comes to the Thanksgiving Holiday. Whether its going to pick out a tree, Moms special Dressing, or a tag football before the Big Meal. Some people even go to bed at 6pm so they can be up at the crack of dawn to catch that awesome Black Friday deal.

The biggest tradition for my family has always been to put ol Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” on the Tele and put up the Christmas tree on Thanksgiving night! This tradition has been a part of every Thanksgiving since I was born, and I love it.

I love hearing my sisters and my mom recite every line of White Christmas, singing all the songs and every one mocking the movie when the girl says “Mutual, I’m Sure!”. I love how every year, my mom challenges the movie by hitting the note on the piano that Bing Crosby will have the little girl sing in warm ups just to prove she’s still remembers it… It’s the same thing every year!

Everyone is looking to put their favorite ornament in a special spot and watching the TV at the same time though we all know it by heart. I love when things run a little long, and we have to put on Chevy Chases Christmas Vacation to keep the decorating momentum going, and again, we know every line, but now my dad chimes in while drinking coffee and eating leftovers on the couch.

This tradition is more important than the Thanksgiving meal, you would rather miss the meal, than miss the tree decorating. There is something about this tradition that is so good for my heart. It starts the season off right.

Now that I am married, I am trying to start a new tradition for me and the hubby. The past two years that we have lived together, (and pre-Greg years) I have put up the tree alone since Greg has been at school on these Saturdays studying for finals at this point. So I was so excited when he was excited to help me put the tree up this year. On a MONDAY night. And we made my tree tradition “our” tree tradition!

So true to my solo decorating tradition I pop in RALPHIE! I look forward to A Christmas Story every year!

Hubs brought in the tree from the garage, and I got out my trusty White lights.

Then I remembered Greg mentioning that he preferred colored, he said he grew up with colored lights, just as I did. So we used color this year.

I spent a good 45 minutes “fluffing” my ten year old tree to leave no holes all while laughing at the movie with Greg. Did I mention that he made sugar cookies while I was doing this????? YUM!

After the tree was fluffed and the rainbow lights were on we decorated the tree with our VERY fragile ornaments, I feel like I lose 2 or 3 a year just because we have moved so much, they really take a beating. Some my parents gave us, and a few of the neatest ones were a wedding gift from a dear friend. They are beautiful!

I love them and I think they make our tree.
I wish I had a photo of Greg’s ornament from his mom that says “First Born Son, Moms Favorite” Its adorable.

And so the tree was finished.

Not the best photo.

But I wasn’t Done….

In our last apartment we had a nice fireplace and a beautiful mantle that I loved to decorate at the Holidays. And I don’t feel like just having the tree up is enough, so I decided to use my garland that I used on the mantle last year and my unused white lights to turn one of my least favorite parts of our apt into our new “Mantle”.
See, we have this weird wall, that divides our living room from our dining room, and there are these terrible bars there, its like a jail cell. When we moved in I was thinking in the back of my brain, “what am I going to do with that UGLY wall?”

I feel like these decorations really help and made a super cute place to hang our stockings.

I’m so happy our tree is up, and I was even more excited to have my husbands help with the tree for the first time!!! I think colored lights, sugar cookies and A Christmas story may be a tradition that we continue and carry on when we have children someday!!!